{ Roman's birth story | Newborn photos }

IMG_7726.JPG

I've been getting soo many questions from you guys about Roman's birth and I decided it would just be a little easier to put it all into a blog post instead of repeating the same thing over and over again. For all those who have been waiting to hear the birth story of Romie here it is. 

I had a scheduled induction at the hospital for 10pm on Sunday night. Cody and I left a little earlier because we were so nervous and anxious and he wanted to grab some foods at Portillo’s which is next door.  I didn't eat anything because I didn’t want to get sick during delivery. We checked in and were taken over to our delivery suite. Instantly we both became so nervous and everything felt so surreal. The little baby bed in the room that our son would soon be in seemed like we waited forever for that moment.  

Some of you guys know I have tried just about everything possible for a natural inducement but nothing worked for me. Our baby just wasn’t ready to come out and my body wasn’t recognizing its time to let go. The doctor then decided to put me right onto Pitocin because the inducing medicine they gave me originally was making me contract too much but without making a change to my cervix. Once they gave me the Pitocin drip my contractions became almost unbearable. I felt so bad for Cody because he was next to me and didn’t know what he can do as I laid there in the worst pain ever. The worst part is that my contractions happen mainly in my back and that is a million times worse than if they were in my stomach area. They realized tracking on the monitor that the contractions were still way too high and finally lowered the amount going into my IV.  

I was having terrible contractions for hours and they kept increasing the Pitocin level every 15 minutes. Going into this whole thing I wanted the most natural, drug-free birth. My plan was to get through it without an epidural and deliver naturally, but remember nothing about a pregnancy or child birth goes as planned. There are so many things that can happen and change everything you planned for. After being in excruciating pain for over 12 hours I finally gave in and said I need an epidural. I was having intense contractions in my back and the doctor said I wasn’t even in active labor yet and that things were still going to get a lot worse. Getting the epidural made me feel like I’ve failed because I kept telling myself I can do it, but once seeing how much pain I was in and for who knew how many more hours, the epidural was almost a must.  Telling them I want an epidural made me have a little panic attack and uncontrollable crying. I was mad at myself and terrified of the needle and also of any potential damage to my nerves after delivery.   

IMG_4521.JPG

Once the epidural was administered and fully kicked in within a few minutes, I didn’t feel any contractions or pain anymore. The epidural seemed like the best choice ever and both Cody and I were finally able to relax a little bit and even take a short nap. Few more hours went by and the doctors checked me again. At this point I have been sitting at 3 cm dilated for almost 10 hours. Once again hearing that made me feel so frustrated and angry at my body for not cooperating. I wanted to bring this baby into this world already and nothing seemed to be working in my favor. At this point I have been in labor for 19 hours so the doctor came in and discussed what I was thinking about doing next. She said we can wait another two hours and see if there is any more change or I could just agree to a c-section and get it started. Hearing those words made me feel so much fear. I was absolutely terrified having a surgery. The potential risks for me and the baby, all the medications they have to pump into you, the recovery. I started having another panic attack with uncontrollable crying. Cody and I decided that was the best option for us because waiting another two hours wouldn't change anything and if for some reason the baby was too big or there were complications I would end up with a c-section regardless. 

I was prepped for the c-section and Cody was given a really "cute" outfit to wear when he came into the OR with me. My body was shaking like crazy, my teeth jittery the entire time. I was feeling extremely lightheaded and ready to pass out especially because I haven't ate or drank in over 24 hours. I was only allowed to have ice chips which just made me feel more sick. 

Cody was with me the entire time sitting right by my side while the surgery was happening. I remember being so extremely tired and drowsy from all the medication being pumped into me. Cody said I even fell asleep for a little while. Although the c-section wasn't something I had hoped for it was still such an amazing experience. I felt so much pressure in my body when they were taking my little Romie out and my heart just felt like it was growing larger and larger by the second knowing that at any moment I would be meeting my son. When I heard that very first cry come out before even seeing his beautiful little face, my life had completely changed at that moment. I couldn't help but cry tears of joy. Feeling so proud to have brought such a beautiful little human into this world and overcoming so much pain and fear in the past 2 days of labor and 9 months of pregnancy leading up to this moment. I looked at Cody and I just couldn't believe he was ours. 

July 9th 2018 at 7:26 PM our entire life has changed and I can't imagine it being any other way. The next couple days after his birth have been the most beautiful and the most difficult we have ever experienced. There have been lots of laughs and smiles but also a lot of tears shed. Moments of frustration, tiredness, and lack of self confidence. My recovery after the surgery has been really hard but then I look at my little boy and I feel like my heart could explode and nothing else matters anymore. My body may never look the same again but I would do it all over again no doubt. 

Thank you to everyone who has been apart of my pregnancy journey anticipating Roman's arrival with us. Thank you for all the kind words, messages, and gifts. I hope you all follow along on the next chapter of my life as a new momma and watch my little man grow. 

Love you all <3 

monika sollisComment